Nov. 16th, 2000

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Blue eyes.
My salamander.
Shadowed topaz gem.
I've seen you wink and flash in my light. Why are these moments so rare, so fleeting? Why won't you unfold those wings?

And do I really want you to, when the very same would then be expected of me?

A sad pair, the two of us.
A sad, laughable pair.

Sometimes I think we belong in some modern romantic comedy.
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She's looking your way again, that girl over there in the corner. There's something wholly human in her eyes. A want, a need... tinged with the desperation of a small child.

Will she trust you? Walk forward? Give you everything she's been carrying around?

She wants to. You can see it in those liquid eyes. But something pushes dark clouds over them, and they harden to chips of glass.

She sneers, and looks away.

Who hurt her? What happened to her?
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Her hair hangs over her face, lank and damp. Her nose is red, and her eyes swollen to slits in her pale face. He cracked, tortured lips curl in a knowing smile as her eyes catch yours. That desperation is back... but it accompanies an anticipation. She looks almost feindish. Like some demented child. And you look at her hands and...

and she's holding a knife. A large kitchen knife, with a black handle and a chip out of the blade. You don't know it, but that chip came out opening coconuts. The blade of the knife rests on the palm of her other hand, and as you watch, the fingers, so childlike and small, curl around it, the knuckles whiten. No blood flows.

You look back up to her eyes. They're looking downwards, and from here, the green irises are shocking against the bloodshot whites. She's staring at her hands, frozen in that destructive pose. The hair around her face shakes as she trembles, just slightly. One tear rolls fresh over a round, blotched cheek.

...

...

...what is she waiting for?

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