Hobgoblin.
Dec. 31st, 2001 12:45 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ragdoll13I feel shrunken and diminished and disconnected lying here in bed with my eyes all tired red and swollen. I stare sideways at the computer screen, typing with only my left hand and operating the mouse buttons backwards. Sleep eludes me, yet my projects fail to thrill me. I feel bored and listless and crabby... I feel as though I've been cheated.
Cheated out of what, I don't know. I've spent large portions of today and last night crawling through Better Than Sex by the immortal Hunter S. Thompson and working on a style for this livejournal. I've been getting around four hours of sleep a night, and when the sleep does come, it hits me like a freight train and drops me where I stand. For two or three hours, I lay motionless, and am pelted with strange and frantic dreams. And then I wake up, sluggish and gasping; aching and bloody-eyed, just to lay here restless and sleepless again.
Tomorrow, the bandages come off. I'm half-afraid that the inciion will appear as a torn, gaping wound, having been pulled open by my moderate activities over the last few days. Intellectually, I'm fairly certain that this will not be the case, but that nagging self-doubt continues to taint everthing I do and spawn fear and dread.
Cheated out of what, I don't know. I've spent large portions of today and last night crawling through Better Than Sex by the immortal Hunter S. Thompson and working on a style for this livejournal. I've been getting around four hours of sleep a night, and when the sleep does come, it hits me like a freight train and drops me where I stand. For two or three hours, I lay motionless, and am pelted with strange and frantic dreams. And then I wake up, sluggish and gasping; aching and bloody-eyed, just to lay here restless and sleepless again.
Tomorrow, the bandages come off. I'm half-afraid that the inciion will appear as a torn, gaping wound, having been pulled open by my moderate activities over the last few days. Intellectually, I'm fairly certain that this will not be the case, but that nagging self-doubt continues to taint everthing I do and spawn fear and dread.
hang in there
Hey chica, just wanting to see how you're getting on... Where's your stupid brother? He should be bringing you soup and pillows and stuff. Can you have champagne? I'll have a glass for you tonight. No really, it's the least I can do. :p In the meantime, keep thinking warm baths! I mean warm thoughts. Both then.
0:)p
Re: hang in there
Date: 2001-12-31 11:11 pm (UTC)(it was great hearing from you, girl.)