For Mike.

[ragdoll13]

For us, it is as if each failing, each lack subtracts from our successes. As failures mount (as failures will) it takes more and more from each success, until they are whittled down to slivers and stubs, worn smooth from long, anxious days of fingering them in our pockets. We hide them, fearing the day that they are seen for the small, pathetic things that they are, protecting them from the ridicule that would surely follow such exposure.

From the outside, they are viewed on their own, whole and worthwhile, and when praised, we blush and shuffle our feet. While others see us indulging in false modesty, we are really wondering why we are being paid such outrageous compliments.

While it is true that pride may be our first great failing, an inability to feel proud may be our second.

Comments

[dvrtoa.livejournal.com]

Wow!..... I'm almost speechless. This was really inspiring Allie, and though I know you wrote it for your extrodinarily cool brother, I'd like to thank you for writing it. It was just the sort of pick me up I needed.

[che.livejournal.com]

I combat this by abandoning pride all together. It's not for me...pride is for generals and leaders, parents and teachers...not for those of us whiddling away our lives as low level paper-shufflers.

I have nothing to be proud of...I've had no great war, no great deed...I am the heir of mediocrity...I don't fail so much as I fail to strive for glory and wealth.